Rahul Gandhi Interview: An absurd night with Rahul

After being intrigued by the jokes doing the rounds in social media, I finally had the courage to watch an 80-minute long interview of Rahul Gandhi done by the man who always have questions, Arnab Goswami.

It started as a fascination of how comic he actually is as against what my friends are writing and sharing. I went in to the interview with two column image showing Arnab’s question in column A and Rahul’s answers in column B. Arnab’s questions, as usual, were all different to the tune of 20 and Rahul’s answers in column B were limited to 5-6. There were random arrows pointing to answers in a nonsensical way.

I thought, c’mon, he can’t be that big a moron! At least he understands English! But he doesn’t. He doesn’t know what is the difference between superficial and specific! If he does, he doesn’t know who Arnab Goswami is, who incidentally was very calm.

As the interview progressed, I got interested in the person who prepares him for interviews/conferences/campaigns. Is it the 500-crore Japanese PR agency? If so, they won’t have another client in next ten years. Or, were they trying to ridicule Arnab Goswami by not giving one single answer that the question commanded.

I don’t know law, but if SIT and Supreme Court has cleared the name of Modi, how does it not amount to contempt of court when you are repeatedly saying the the Gujarat government was abetting the riots?

Either Rahul Gandhi is too clever, which I have reservations about, or he is an idiot unfit for any job in this country, let alone Prime Minister’s. His answers were like that IP University undergraduate student who just knows a few things about the syllabus that too that he studied last night.

He would keep repeating the same things throughout the answer sheet as it is a proven tactic to get marks. But life is not IP University exams! He was using the three phrases vehemently throughout whatever the question were: we are in to empowering the women, we want to open up the system to the youth, and we want to use the energy of this country and make it a manufacturing powerhouse.

Very noble thoughts, if taken out of context of the interview and the questions asked. But when the question is how do you perceive Modi as a challenge, how can you relate it to something in the lines of: See, our party wants to empower the women, we need to open up the system and bring the youth…

A frustrated Arnab, after seven repeated attempts with same question and Rahul singing his own composition, changed the question, Rahul smiled with that cute smile that a 5th grader has when he forces his father to get him that damn candy!

The high point was, Rahul Gandhi teaching, in fact asking, Arnab whether he knew how laws are passed in the country. When he was asked his position on political parties coming under RTI, all he did was telling him how a bill becomes a law. He also went philosophic by telling Arnab, “You need to know who Rahul Gandhi is, how Rahul Gandhi thinks, what goes in Rahul Gandhi’s mind…” And what he said after it was completely irrelevant!

And again, suddenly all the roads lead to Rome! Any question and his answer is: Do you know what the central problem is? The problem is that youth are not getting chance! Goddamn idiot, what is your age? Don’t behave like an 11-year old kid who will keep asking the dad for bicycle when the father is trying to explain he doesn’t have money, they don’t need a bicycle…

I think what he did throughout the interview was playing an age old trick about telling things to the interviewer that you know so that he/she asks you more questions on that. But that applies in job interviews and this was not a job interview. The Japanese guys clearly have no idea how things work here in India, that too with Arnab Gosawmi. Let’s wait for their PM to do something weird and then they will know why he needs an answer!

On 1984 riots, CWG, this-gate, that-gate scams all you have is: we have a process and let the law take its course. But when the Apex court has given a clean chit, you say the government abetted the riots!

And then you switch to the old song and crib about no one is asking him this and that, about where this country is heading to, about why the energy of youth needs to be harnessed, why women need to be empowered.

It was like the same IP University graduate cribbing about what he read wasn’t asked and what he didn’t was asked too many times! And so Rahul did what that undergrad guy does, write whatever you know in full 35 pages.

Alas, that trick doesn’t work. Neither does the repeated tunes of we are into women empowerment, we are into bringing youth, we brought RTI, we have six bills in parliament and why don’t you ask these questions! Women are the backbone of the nation, they need to be empowered…

Screw you man! Either you thought it was to be a ten-minute interview that went for eight times the time and so you repeated those words at least eight times or…. you are an idiot.

The summary of his interview can be the following gibberish:

Main question is our ideologies are different and Modi was abetting the riots we prevented the riots and women of this country are the backbone six bills are pending in parliament RTI has empowered the youth and systems are opening up which I respect the core reason is no one cares about the country I didn’t choose to be born in this family we are confident of winning the election and like the AAP BJP has fundamentally different philosophy and we need to work on women empowerment this individual vs ideas youth needs to be empowered the processes need to be strengthened actually ayou didn’t ask me this question I am not scared of anyone my grandmother went to jail she died my father died frankly speaking we need to empower women and more young people should be a part of process the democracy needs to go to every home women needs to be empowered…….

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